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July 07, 2006
I am Half of My Mother's Egg
When God was knitting my sister, Heather, in my mother's womb, he was also knitting me. I am a twin. Pretty nifty NOW, but as a child, my sister and I didn't know we were twins until, Sister Mary Etta, a nun that taught us how to read, confessed that she knew something about us that we didn't...Which was, as you know, that we were in fact born on the same day from the same belly? Upon the discovery of such heinousness, Heather came home immediately informing my mother about the situation! Needless to say, mom wasn't shocked, but Heather and I were beside ourselves with a "Hail Mary what did we do to deserve this" feeling! Since then, we have learned that twinship is much more a blessing than a punishment. Hum...although (doing my best Freud face)...dressing the same everyday for many years could have contributed to why I had my share of visits to psychologists. Speaking of psychologists: They-who are, by the way, usually not twins-will tell you that in every set of twins there is a dominate one and recessive one. I'm not so sure what that means, but if that's true, Heather, would have been considered the dominate twin, and I would have been the recessive. By this I mean, she usually tried things before I did, was more "grown-up". She seemed to exude a sort of "leave it to me to get you out of this one" attitude. Where as, I was more the kid licking the flag pole in the winter to entertain friends at recess. We were both really into different types of crowds but did overlap in athletics because we often played different postions or did different events. All in all, Heather was your all American girl and enjoyed things like being voted Homecoming Queen and student of the month in computer class. I was, well, not sure about America, and did not enjoy such things as being voted "most likely to get a sex change". I shared the vote with this guy Tim that looked a lot like a pubescent Freddie Mercury. But all youthful mortification aside, I loved that we were so different. We understood each other. We understood each other SO WELL that we, even now, don't have to use full sentences to communicate. Instead we resort to a language of sighs, facial expressions, giggles, and sobbing sounds (oh my the joy of subtext). A typical conversation may be a jumble of "I know"s, "you don't have to say it"s sigh...grin...sob...no way...grin...sob...etc. But being a twin had its Twilight Zone moments too! For example, Heather got this dog when I was away at college. He was a bit vicious and protective of her. Well, when I visited, she had stepped out for a bit, and I not knowing any of the stories of her attack dog, went to pet him. When Heather came home she started running to protect me from his viciousness. The thing is, I had been playing with him for over an hour, and the entire time he didn't even growl at me. I though maybe the dog had turned over a new leaf, but when Jacob came out he was back to his snarl-and-bark self. The only reason Heather and I could think of...for him not hurting me...was that Heather and I have indistinguishable voices and maybe similar smells? Even, weirder than the animal connection is the sixth sense thing we have when the other twin is going through something major. Like when I was spending the night at my friend's house I had to be rushed to the hospital to get over 30 stitches in my knee from a bike accident. Right before I fell, Heather called my friend's house thinking I was in danger. My friend's mom assured her that I was fine and she that she could see me playing outside. Literally minutes later, my knee had met its match with the gravel and I was rushed to emergency room for a major stitch-up. Even about a year ago when Heather got pregnant my cycle stopped completely. I had all the signs of being pregnant even feeling dizzy and nauseous in the mornings. Later that month She called to say SHE was pregnant and all my symptoms went away...INSERT ALFRED HITCHCOCKS SYRUPY VOICE AND TWILIGHT ZONE MUSIC HERE...All in all, I like being a twin. And, the most exciting thing of all is that I married into a family loaded with twins. Jacob's mom AND sisters are twins. This means I get to have kids Noah's Ark style, and that brings me much joy.
| By Heidi V. | 12:34 PM
Comments
"Noah's ark style"! You make it sound so... so... so veterinary!
Posted by: CamoBunny at July 7, 2006 03:57 PM
How very true! Blissfully Biblical as well! No?
Posted by: Heidi V. at July 10, 2006 07:42 AM
heidi, nice twin story. i enjoy hearing about the mysteriosity of twin connections.also, that.script.is.awesome. ; )
Posted by: angela at July 11, 2006 08:06 AM
No problemâ¦I love reading and passing along scripts and screen plays! Not to be obsessed, but I have to say that Alexander kills me with his Ukrainian eccentricitiesâ¦he's first rate. Unfortunately, as of late, I had to put a cap on quoting him since I quoted a particular excerpt of the film (the part regarding accountant pay rates)to my office co-workers. I realized that some things are just not funny when recontextualizedâ¦THAT bit of dialogue being one of them. :\
Posted by: Heidi V. at July 11, 2006 11:42 AM
Lovin' it Heidi. I want to let you know that I've read your entry a couple times (once to Mama) yet have not had the energy to dig deep into the mysteries of twinship...yet. I assure you I will try and respond properly soon and very soon.Loves Laura
Posted by: Anonymous at July 11, 2006 08:43 PM
heidi,thanks so much for sharing your stories about being a twin! i think i could picture you sticking your tongue to the flag pole at recess for entertainment value : ) it's one of those things we love about you! ~ claire
Posted by: Claire at July 13, 2006 03:27 PM
Claire, I know that putting your tongue to the flag pole for notoriety IS a tad drastic, but I believe my goal was not only to entertain my peers, but also to elevate some of the shame I was feeling from having to wear a string connecting my mittensâ¦I believe they were called âdummy stringsâ (mom loved the idea of me not losing my mittens, but she didnât realize the mortification such a feature could cause a little girl). Thinking about it now, I suppose sticking my tongue to the flagpole was not the most cleaver way to prove I was, in fact, not a dummyâ¦butâ¦I was desperate!
Posted by: Heidi V. at July 14, 2006 06:42 AM
Twinship: Maggie and I both testify to the difficult yet joyous nature of a twin relationship. Joyous:The other day in house church Eddie led a discussion about the relationship between Jesus and the Father. We looked up passages where Jesus talks about his interaction with the Father and then we compared our human relationships to this perfect model.It struck me that Jesus talks about knowing his Father so well. Tears welled up in my eyes because this reminded me of Maggie and I. We know each other very well and I miss this as she is and has been far away in Nepal for close to two years. This doesn't mean that my other family members, or friends for that matter, don't know me well, it's just there is something magical, comforting, all- encompassing (words fall short), about being born side-by side. Difficult: There is pressure, as a twin, to have an ideal 'closer then close' relationship. Maggie and I love each other and are close, but we don't always connect magically. Also, we don't feel or want to feel like an entity, something that is sometimes assumed of twins, because we value the special uniqueness of each other. This 'entity expectation' can cramp our style. To close, Heidi, if this wonderful man you've been praying for (in public, let me remind you!) ever appears, and we decide to have kids, I would be joyful should they come out Noah's ark style-- though I may be relieved (pain , pain) if there is just one! Laura
Posted by: Anonymous at July 14, 2006 11:55 AM
Laura! You kill me! Oh heavens Yes! Heather and I have had our moments of contention, but, as you were saying, the joy of being a twin is not that you always magically mesh, but that they understand you remarkably well. Now, to the tune of "The Ants go marching two by two..." I march my little typing hands back to work..."hurrah, hurrah!"Love ya,
Posted by: Heidi V. at July 14, 2006 01:35 PM
I can't sleep so I'm on this darn computer. We must have spent something like 16 hours together this weekend. Seriously, my "I'm just gonna be honest..." e-mail was way resolved.I think I will always remember waltzing with you on the shoulder of the highway, Queen Anne's lace in hair. Quietly and gracefully we defeat the White Witch's wicked spell!
Posted by: Anonymous at July 16, 2006 10:50 PM
Laura,Iâm glad that we were "just being honest" about the need to star-step as the semi trucks went whizzing by! But, I do think the tow-truck guy thought we were, well, insane. P.S. Jacob and I laughed so hard about the car last night that my cheeks hurt...We were laughing because the car STILL smells like gravy, and that it requires pushing it for about a half a block WHILE putting it into second gear to get it startedâ¦Still, I am SO thankfulâ¦I am learning to love the quarks of God's blessings. Once we get a battery it will be fine. If not, will you bail us out again? It was fun.
Posted by: Heidi V. at July 17, 2006 07:52 AM
Sara's little daughter, Caroline came up to me today. She said something like "I saw you stuck on the side of the road". I asked if she saw me pushing the car and she said yes. What in the world? It mystifies me as we look nothing alike and for her to intuitively figure out the relation... Did you happen to waltz while pushing? I'm just laughing so much sitting here thinking about all our car trouble. I'm so sorry about that gravy. Just think of Grandmother Gladys when you smell it and maybe that will console you a little bit! Uh, I doubt it. To be honest that smell is damred rank!l.w
Posted by: Anonymous at July 17, 2006 06:12 PM
We DO look pretty different...maybe she was seeing out similar hearts! Yes, Laura-Lou, I WAS giving the car a good scoot! It was...kind of fun actually. I loved the drama of running down Etzel pushing the car like a shopping cart through lanes of ghetto (like those shopping game shows where the contestants hurriedly pack their carts to win prizes). Praise God for Sarah and Jim, cause after a block and some I was ready to cash in for the consolation prize. Last night, Nae Nae and I were having a good long laugh, because she wondered why Jacob and I were so strange compared to others...by this she meant the other white and seemingly âstableâ folk. I was going to try to explain our ways, but what do you say to that? Instead of explaining the unexplainable, I decided to push her little snarky-indian-style-sitting self over. I stayed composed for a second, put on my best fake offended look and pushed with all my might, then we began roaring with glee. I love how God makes his little ones so honest, so free, and so playful!
Posted by: Heidi V. at July 18, 2006 08:53 AM
Also, no Waltzing...more of a straight-line Tango really.
Posted by: Heidi V. at July 18, 2006 08:58 AM
Heidi - What a great, fun essay on twinship. Not that I am a twin or have any twins anywhere in my family...but isn't it true that one of them (either fraternal or identical) happens just by chance? Maybe I can hope for that if we ever have kids. Well, Eric's half-brothers are identical twins, so we have that going I guess. I miss you and wish I could see the car debacle. I'd laugh my head off.
Posted by: winks at July 21, 2006 08:33 AM